My white Christmas

So here's a great story about how God loves me more than Carl Zoch:
Once upon a time, two couples decided to go to Oregon for Christmas. The first family, the Zochs, decided to leave on Thursday. God smote the city with fog, and the Zochs had to wait till Saturday. After flying to Denver, God blessed Portland with incredible amounts of snow, and the Zochs had to stay in Denver. On Sunday, the Zochs, like the Herberts, turned their back on God and went to California. In holy retribution, God made the Zochs stay in California until He finally allowed them to go to Seattle, but not the beloved Portland. Meanwhile, the Reeses decided to leave on Tuesday, and God decided to test their faith, and so made them miss their connection in Denver. Luckily, the Reeses live in Tulsa and are therefore closer to God, so He allowed two, and only two, seats to open on the later flight into Portland, and the Reeses made it there before midnight. Also, to make it up to the Reeses, God gave them a free coffee at Starbucks in the airport.

So here in Portland, it's been snowing a lot, and it's still snowing, so we get to have a white Christmas. It's freaking gorgeous. Because it's the Northwest, there's awesome evergreen trees everywhere, and so it looks like a Hallmark card every time you look outside.

Finally, I have the most amazing wife ever. For Christmas, she got me a humidor. A humidor! And, and, she got cigars for said humidor. There were two, and she says, "Of course, one of those is for me." My wife bought us cigars, so that we can smoke them together for New Years.
This is the best Christmas ever, and Christmas hasn't even happened yet.